I remember awfully one line from a random Shahrukh commercial one that fits this odd slightly high state poem of mine after being half a bottle of Rum down- Zindagi mein kai humsafar milenge par Humraahi hoga sirf ek. On the salsa front i only can say " I rather dance with you than talk with you".... A gibberish from a happy person feeling damn light and confident of his matters of the heart....
I think i have loved the very best I think i want to have the very best I can even gatecrash and steal if that's what it takes Or have a stunner to go weak in the knees for me....
I know i am there in the big league Running for my dreams but also getting them So many great lovers i brush by Not many though i get to live by
I still am a nice person at heart Smiling each time i imagine me Me with myself or somewhere up there With a girl of my dreams or a new filler
Oh i mean no harm coz i am all simple Out when it comes to love all i have is dimples Get attracted by them or see deep inside my heart & i will take u to a world u'l love from the start
I know i can love and be loved like never before I know i can sweep u off ur feet i am too sure All i know is i will have my share of love From someone so amazing like d stars above
Once i get there, fight it and i find her I will keep her for good let nothing matter Whether it takes a gatecrash, a steal, one step or a million miles, A war, a mission impossible but i will have her for the rest of our lives
And i so love her i so love her i soooooooo love her.... Well she is still to come and i shall wait until she's there.
Funny sometimes how when u least expect something you get something tapping your shoulder as an opportunity. You get carried away let your guard down and when you least expect, it comes like a big “Thud“to you. Welcome to the worst place for mankind Earth my friend and welcome to the worst time to be here on it- The Nineteen Eighties to God knows when….
I wanted to keep this post for some time before I could convincingly put it up waiting for some more stabs before I label the angel the devil. Well I guess I got my last pinch of reality today and yes it still did turn me red but not with gladness but disgust and despair. I am the bloody object that is always the object and my right place is the floor. One cannot handle me too long in their hands, in their arms, they have to slam me down coz m an object, coz I don’t live and coz I am this big convenient fool who has “Sucker” written all over him. Am I so worthless, is this world really this shitty a place that's worth nothing, neither genuine hard work nor pure love.
Please see the transformation in this poem. Yes if u ask me, it was written twice….
Oh lovely little butterfly
Why don’t you ever stop by
Why do you come, tease and leave
Why don’t you ever stay back with me….
I didn’t choose to come to your garden
Luck brought me here by chance
Once here enchanted by you and your world
I vowed not to leave anything to circumstance
I was busy making my world work
The world that’s got the head as its boss
Trying all efforts to make it big in life
Throwing all the love & mush out for a toss
I still am a secret believer, a devotee of sorts
But this time neither did i wish nor a command
Then why did the universe react and gave in
To my “Oh I never knew I wanted that” demand
If same pinches were the ways to appreciate similarity
This person by now had turned me red all over
So much in pain (but still praying for more and more)
To see if it’s reality or just a hangover
We try to meet more and more, talk endless over the phone
Allowed some sins too- Was it senseless mingling
Thought we would get bored but our souls touched
In a losing battle to wake up, we went on dreaming
Dreams led to starch realities we wanted for us
Time passed and a day came when we had to part
We planned everything from when to where
Many questions asked but none of future or past
It was perfect this shadow of mine
So adorable my closest to real soulmate
Wish we stay together for ever and ever
When suddenly it came crashing down back to my old fate
We would never last, she said and when I asked why??
Because she given up and cant try for an arrangement
She had a past and that would now be her great future
Well what was I then- A pit stop entertainment????
I am wondering why I let this happen to me
If I am so good that I can be the one picked
Loved, used & thrown without any regret
Is it my fault for which I SHUD BE KICKED!!!!
Let me be your getaway from this odd life of yours, your respite in the mistakes that you made so far…. Let me be your bed where you can rest, cuddle, scavenge, fight, loose or win, get tired, sleep over it, rejuvenate and then jus walk off me leaving the sheets strewn, blots on the mattress and most of all, the pillow torn. Now that you are gone I feel so used, trampled, pitied sometimes sympathized, felt sorry for but left abandoned like a stray dog chasing a car….
Oh lovely little butterfly
Don’t you ever come by
Don’t you spoil my dreams turning them into nightmares?
Let me live all by myself happily alone if that’s how it’s meant to be
At least I will have a smile on my face and some peace in my mind.
Lastly to add some lines from my current favorite song- “Titliyan”
When he started out he was in this house something he had built with his own hands, brick by brick putting together some amazing ideas. Only problem was that it wasn't his own, it had other dwellers too who would rather sit back and wait for him to complete the building for them. He would not bother about all this knowing his will to take up a task single handedly and doing it with his heart. Too many cooks in the same curry would be something he never would approve of. He just loved to work and take up challenges and here it was a challenge to build it up from scratch like no one else cud do.
Somewhere in this whole task of putting together a foundation and a great place to be at, he forgot about his heart the very reason he lives. For he is not the kinds who thinks from the head or even works from there. All that he does is from the heart and even now he worked for the heart and from the heart. If his heart would be busy working when would it love or do anything to fill the vast stretch of loneliness that was slowly creeping into his world. He was unaware and all he did was ignore it even more to keep it from affecting him at all.
Then one day something happened, a figure dark though lovely appeared out of nowhere. He asked her who she was and why she was here? All she said was "I am a gypsy and i love to travel and to dance" I was passing by and thought i could see what you had here. Well he ignored her and put her up to one of the other owners to show her around. She went around the house and once she was done she again came by and just watched him work. He thought he could use a break and also host this guest who was otherwise not very willing to let go of her curiosity.
They went out and talked a bit. Finished it soon and got back. She left and he went into his usual work of building it up. They did this a couple or more times and he suddenly realized his heart was also good at a few more things than just working and that it was feeling left out on the love. The more he met her the more he would think how similar they were. She too had started feeling a certain way about him. It was now just a matter of time that they would both sit and enter the realms of contemplating what could be and what is....
She in the meanwhile also saw this amazing person in him who was selflessly trying to make the house work and stand as the best that stood. What she found him ignoring and in a way living with the fact that it was becoming more and more of a one man show. Day by day he was getting closer to the reality he dreamed for the house - the greatness and the amazing part was he wasn't even close to being a part owner. His dues were verbal than actual and there were these bystanders waiting for him to complete what he said he could and then they would take it away from him. The constant scheming had brought cracks in the foundation and he being on the inside was not seeing the outer perspective. Only she could see it. She wanted to tell him but then who was she to him and will he listen and go away with his selfless style. there were no guarantees. So she did this.
She met him more and more and made him realize a few things about them. They grew in love, so much that they took vows to be together no matter what. Yes she did promise him and he promised her to be together till the world lasts (or at least as per her till she lasts). He still worked but moreover spent time with her because he knew she didn't have much time. For him all that mattered now was her and being with her. And he did that every time he could. Then the day came she had to leave. She asked if he would be fine, if he would not loose it, he would be strong with himself and not bother whether the house stays or not. He promised her he would be fine and that he would come for her. He asked her if she would still wait for him, have trust in what they shared and make their dream a reality. She nodded and she hugged him tight. She left soon after....
He got back slowly to his life and work. For the first time he saw the big cracks the ones he never saw before and he remembered how she never let him know or feel the pain of knowing all he's done so far was about to fall apart. He felt remorse and he felt shattered. Thankfully for him he had this happiness in his heart now that she was there. She wasn't there with him but for him she was like his shadow one that was with him everywhere he went. She was the reason he still smiled and he still wanted to fight. His belief in the house had broken but his belief in the fact he could build it again this time for himself was strong and he vowed to make it happen for him and moreover for her, the reason he still stands....
Thanks to his shadow who leaves him with a reason much bigger to move on and make it happen in a bigger way for himself. All he desired now was her to be by his side not just as a bystander but as a part, a part he loved and a part he still feels a part of....
Well to be precise i have quit my job. Salsa is the new reason to smile and keeps me going. Some new hiccups and lots of delusional stuff but then i guess the timing couldn't be better to start all over gain and re-invent what the world calls as "Chirag".
To begin with my silence over all that's happening and my reaction to it as well here is a small passing by thought....
Its been a while since i felt this alone Alone though with so much happening around Life of all sorts- sweet & nice, irritating yet distracting Keeping me engrossed every single day & night
Life that is like two worlds for me Balanced finely along one another One incomplete, unfulfilled without the other One filling the stomach, the other the heart
It always happens that one world goes down The other somehow trying to stabilize Pulling both up isnt easy and i sometimes fumble Get bruised, abandoned, left alone to cry, wake up alone
There is so much more to do and never enough to say Every moment that passes by i wonder why I end up changing my house or the paint on my walls Why i change my pair of shades every time i need to look up????
I wish i can tell someone that i live, i like to laugh That i too fall down and that i don't need anyone's support But once i am up i need you not to stare me in the face Rather look pleased at my return and hug me tight....
Wish you didn't run away at the first sight of my fall. Its just a matter of time i stood up and never looked better. Only if you had waited....
First of all a big sorry to all as i have just never been around. Even now all i could do is post this new one. Recession has hit me bad but i aint complaining, i m still fighting. Salsa'a a real boon during these time. My classes have swelled up. Life’s been not so bad in fact very good. Every time I have tried to create chaos and wreck havoc further to whatever damage already done, I have repeatedly been blessed with a fresh start, a new launch-pad. Here’s a new take on the poem, “Why so Serious????”. This time it’s me and my life talking to each other….
I have loved you right from when you were born
Giving you a destiny carved with sensitivity and care
You have been my favorite pupil
For only you understood my underlying true ideology
I am harsh for most, soft for a blessed few
People call me names but I don’t care a damn
They chose me each time they changed tracks to go forward
I might have been unfair, sad, harsh maybe even boring
I never decided what becomes of them when they grow up
Who did they meet or whom they fell in love with
Whom did they idolize, who ended up being despicable
All these were their decisions, don’t put it on me!!!!
Why blame me when the sky turns dark
When they miss the bus or fail in class
When they get rejected or when they are left alone
It’s their doing, own it or else fell good sticking it on me
Had they thought of it when they gave it their best shot
Of all that could go wrong, things that may fall apart
They would have been less affected, less pissed at me
But they were optimistic for it’s a virtue of the great
Ever thought what a pessimist but with brains would be like
A clever planned guy- opinionated but shrewd
For he would picture it at its worst before surging ahead
That way he would feel less jittered when it falls apart
They would call him names, talk behind his back
Constantly put him down, never giving him a chance
But he’s much beyond what you think, clever and smart
Not modest but well prepared, for he will always take me head on
He still does feel sad though mostly glad
For he knew things were rosy a bit far too long
Troubles and tensions would just come along
He’s prepared; he will just smile and put them aside.
No wonder he’s my muse, my blue-eyed boy
He will throng to achieve what most don’t bother to
The hunger in him so big that it can drown many like you
Because he knows me well, he will follow through
He will stand up every time he falls down
Start again every time I shun him down
Never say enough is enough because more will come
Keep running from time for that’s his worst enemy
I am talking to him now and I am sure he knows
Son you are a gem, a one in a million
I know I bruised you again but gather yourself like you always do
Wipe your tears, brush away your woes for a new day is waiting
Waiting for you to start your hunt again, time to move on
Please note that all the works on the blog "The Lost World and me lost in it" are originals and self written by the owner who's also the author. They are sole property of the owner and cannot be used or copied without written permission.
Thanks, C....
Disclaimer
All the pictures on this blog are taken from various sources. I do not take responsibility of the same. I have taken these pictures in good faith and do not take credit for them.
An entrepreneur by nature. Run something called as Chaipatty- a rustic line of Teafes or simply put; tea-cafes. Love to take it to people's homes through a thoughtful experience had over a cup of Chai. Love to write a bit and ofcourse explore a lot more...
