Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I just lost my shadow.. can someone turn on the lights please....

When he started out he was in this house something he had built with his own hands, brick by brick putting together some amazing ideas. Only problem was that it wasn't his own, it had other dwellers too who would rather sit back and wait for him to complete the building for them. He would not bother about all this knowing his will to take up a task single handedly and doing it with his heart. Too many cooks in the same curry would be something he never would approve of. He just loved to work and take up challenges and here it was a challenge to build it up from scratch like no one else cud do.

Somewhere in this whole task of putting together a foundation and a great place to be at, he forgot about his heart the very reason he lives. For he is not the kinds who thinks from the head or even works from there. All that he does is from the heart and even now he worked for the heart and from the heart. If his heart would be busy working when would it love or do anything to fill the vast stretch of loneliness that was slowly creeping into his world. He was unaware and all he did was ignore it even more to keep it from affecting him at all.

Then one day something happened, a figure dark though lovely appeared out of nowhere. He asked her who she was and why she was here? All she said was "I am a gypsy and i love to travel and to dance" I was passing by and thought i could see what you had here. Well he ignored her and put her up to one of the other owners to show her around. She went around the house and once she was done she again came by and just watched him work. He thought he could use a break and also host this guest who was otherwise not very willing to let go of her curiosity.

They went out and talked a bit. Finished it soon and got back. She left and he went into his usual work of building it up. They did this a couple or more times and he suddenly realized his heart was also good at a few more things than just working and that it was feeling left out on the love. The more he met her the more he would think how similar they were. She too had started feeling a certain way about him. It was now just a matter of time that they would both sit and enter the realms of contemplating what could be and what is....

She in the meanwhile also saw this amazing person in him who was selflessly trying to make the house work and stand as the best that stood. What she found him ignoring and in a way living with the fact that it was becoming more and more of a one man show. Day by day he was getting closer to the reality he dreamed for the house - the greatness and the amazing part was he wasn't even close to being a part owner. His dues were verbal than actual and there were these bystanders waiting for him to complete what he said he could and then they would take it away from him. The constant scheming had brought cracks in the foundation and he being on the inside was not seeing the outer perspective. Only she could see it. She wanted to tell him but then who was she to him and will he listen and go away with his selfless style. there were no guarantees. So she did this.

She met him more and more and made him realize a few things about them. They grew in love, so much that they took vows to be together no matter what. Yes she did promise him and he promised her to be together till the world lasts (or at least as per her till she lasts). He still worked but moreover spent time with her because he knew she didn't have much time. For him all that mattered now was her and being with her. And he did that every time he could. Then the day came she had to leave. She asked if he would be fine, if he would not loose it, he would be strong with himself and not bother whether the house stays or not. He promised her he would be fine and that he would come for her. He asked her if she would still wait for him, have trust in what they shared and make their dream a reality. She nodded and she hugged him tight. She left soon after....

He got back slowly to his life and work. For the first time he saw the big cracks the ones he never saw before and he remembered how she never let him know or feel the pain of knowing all he's done so far was about to fall apart. He felt remorse and he felt shattered. Thankfully for him he had this happiness in his heart now that she was there. She wasn't there with him but for him she was like his shadow one that was with him everywhere he went. She was the reason he still smiled and he still wanted to fight. His belief in the house had broken but his belief in the fact he could build it again this time for himself was strong and he vowed to make it happen for him and moreover for her, the reason he still stands....

Thanks to his shadow who leaves him with a reason much bigger to move on and make it happen in a bigger way for himself. All he desired now was her to be by his side not just as a bystander but as a part, a part he loved and a part he still feels a part of....

Like an object on the floor....

Been away thinking life had become easy though hard but it was more of challenges than let downs. Didn’t know I would be back so soon….

Like an object on the floor

You had your days of glory and fame,

Of people you could trust to carry your name

Suddenly u were stabbed and down everything came,

U had no one around to help but just yourself to blame.

U looked bruised like one who lost his game.

Given up the fight, hanging pointless in aim,

I offered to help to make everything the same

You lapped me up, your savior I became.

I worked hard and alone for many fortunes I had to claim,

Adding fresh colours to the fallen picture well all over again.

Just so that the one final day I eventually put in a frame

People would see my effort, the picturesque destiny I cud tame.

The results were there, rewards none and the excuses lame.

Silent scheming, plans of deceit & efforts to maim,

Letting all my achievements go down in flames

Calling me a showoff.. My head down in shame..

Not because what I did for you went down in vain,

But for being someone u could use & throw away when in gain.

Not recognizing the sacrifice nor the months of pain

Treating me like an object on the floor one that can never complain….