The Lost World and me lost in it....

Love one time but feels like lifetime....

2009-10-12T10:43:00.000-07:00

I remember awfully one line from a random Shahrukh commercial one that fits this odd slightly high state poem of mine after being half a bottle of Rum down- Zindagi mein kai humsafar milenge par Humraahi hoga sirf ek. On the salsa front i only can say " I rather dance with you than talk with you".... A gibberish from a happy person feeling damn light and confident of his matters of the heart....

I think i have loved the very best
I think i want to have the very best
I can even gatecrash and steal if that's what it takes
Or have a stunner to go weak in the knees for me....

I know i am there in the big league
Running for my dreams but also getting them
So many great lovers i brush by
Not many though i get to live by

I still am a nice person at heart
Smiling each time i imagine me
Me with myself or somewhere up there
With a girl of my dreams or a new filler

Oh i mean no harm coz i am all simple
Out when it comes to love all i have is dimples
Get attracted by them or see deep inside my heart
& i will take u to a world u'l love from the start

I know i can love and be loved like never before
I know i can sweep u off ur feet i am too sure
All i know is i will have my share of love
From someone so amazing like d stars above

Once i get there, fight it and i find her
I will keep her for good let nothing matter
Whether it takes a gatecrash, a steal, one step or a million miles,
A war, a mission impossible but i will have her for the rest of our lives

And i so love her i so love her i soooooooo love her.... Well she is still to come and i shall wait until she's there.

Butterflies- Titliyaan....

2009-10-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

Funny sometimes how when u least expect something you get something tapping your shoulder as an opportunity. You get carried away let your guard down and when you least expect, it comes like a big “Thud“to you. Welcome to the worst place for mankind Earth my friend and welcome to the worst time to be here on it- The Nineteen Eighties to God knows when….

I wanted to keep this post for some time before I could convincingly put it up waiting for some more stabs before I label the angel the devil. Well I guess I got my last pinch of reality today and yes it still did turn me red but not with gladness but disgust and despair. I am the bloody object that is always the object and my right place is the floor. One cannot handle me too long in their hands, in their arms, they have to slam me down coz m an object, coz I don’t live and coz I am this big convenient fool who has “Sucker” written all over him. Am I so worthless, is this world really this shitty a place that's worth nothing, neither genuine hard work nor pure love.

Please see the transformation in this poem. Yes if u ask me, it was written twice….

Oh lovely little butterfly

Why don’t you ever stop by

Why do you come, tease and leave

Why don’t you ever stay back with me….

I didn’t choose to come to your garden

Luck brought me here by chance

Once here enchanted by you and your world

I vowed not to leave anything to circumstance

I was busy making my world work

The world that’s got the head as its boss

Trying all efforts to make it big in life

Throwing all the love & mush out for a toss

I still am a secret believer, a devotee of sorts

But this time neither did i wish nor a command

Then why did the universe react and gave in

To my “Oh I never knew I wanted that” demand

If same pinches were the ways to appreciate similarity

This person by now had turned me red all over

So much in pain (but still praying for more and more)

To see if it’s reality or just a hangover

We try to meet more and more, talk endless over the phone

Allowed some sins too- Was it senseless mingling

Thought we would get bored but our souls touched

In a losing battle to wake up, we went on dreaming

Dreams led to starch realities we wanted for us

Time passed and a day came when we had to part

We planned everything from when to where

Many questions asked but none of future or past

It was perfect this shadow of mine

So adorable my closest to real soulmate

Wish we stay together for ever and ever

When suddenly it came crashing down back to my old fate

We would never last, she said and when I asked why??

Because she given up and cant try for an arrangement

She had a past and that would now be her great future

Well what was I then- A pit stop entertainment????

I am wondering why I let this happen to me

If I am so good that I can be the one picked

Loved, used & thrown without any regret

Is it my fault for which I SHUD BE KICKED!!!!

Let me be your getaway from this odd life of yours, your respite in the mistakes that you made so far…. Let me be your bed where you can rest, cuddle, scavenge, fight, loose or win, get tired, sleep over it, rejuvenate and then jus walk off me leaving the sheets strewn, blots on the mattress and most of all, the pillow torn. Now that you are gone I feel so used, trampled, pitied sometimes sympathized, felt sorry for but left abandoned like a stray dog chasing a car….

Oh lovely little butterfly

Don’t you ever come by

Don’t you spoil my dreams turning them into nightmares?

Let me live all by myself happily alone if that’s how it’s meant to be

At least I will have a smile on my face and some peace in my mind.

Lastly to add some lines from my current favorite song- “Titliyan”

Dil tha, Khilona
Chalo toot gaya, Kya karein
Koi Saathi tha , jise chaha tha..
Wohi loot gaya, kya karein….

Aria my dear here's my Metaphysics from the Shadow to the Butterfly....

I just lost my shadow.. can someone turn on the lights please....

2009-09-29T21:22:00.000-07:00

When he started out he was in this house something he had built with his own hands, brick by brick putting together some amazing ideas. Only problem was that it wasn't his own, it had other dwellers too who would rather sit back and wait for him to complete the building for them. He would not bother about all this knowing his will to take up a task single handedly and doing it with his heart. Too many cooks in the same curry would be something he never would approve of. He just loved to work and take up challenges and here it was a challenge to build it up from scratch like no one else cud do.

Somewhere in this whole task of putting together a foundation and a great place to be at, he forgot about his heart the very reason he lives. For he is not the kinds who thinks from the head or even works from there. All that he does is from the heart and even now he worked for the heart and from the heart. If his heart would be busy working when would it love or do anything to fill the vast stretch of loneliness that was slowly creeping into his world. He was unaware and all he did was ignore it even more to keep it from affecting him at all.

Then one day something happened, a figure dark though lovely appeared out of nowhere. He asked her who she was and why she was here? All she said was "I am a gypsy and i love to travel and to dance" I was passing by and thought i could see what you had here. Well he ignored her and put her up to one of the other owners to show her around. She went around the house and once she was done she again came by and just watched him work. He thought he could use a break and also host this guest who was otherwise not very willing to let go of her curiosity.

They went out and talked a bit. Finished it soon and got back. She left and he went into his usual work of building it up. They did this a couple or more times and he suddenly realized his heart was also good at a few more things than just working and that it was feeling left out on the love. The more he met her the more he would think how similar they were. She too had started feeling a certain way about him. It was now just a matter of time that they would both sit and enter the realms of contemplating what could be and what is....

She in the meanwhile also saw this amazing person in him who was selflessly trying to make the house work and stand as the best that stood. What she found him ignoring and in a way living with the fact that it was becoming more and more of a one man show. Day by day he was getting closer to the reality he dreamed for the house - the greatness and the amazing part was he wasn't even close to being a part owner. His dues were verbal than actual and there were these bystanders waiting for him to complete what he said he could and then they would take it away from him. The constant scheming had brought cracks in the foundation and he being on the inside was not seeing the outer perspective. Only she could see it. She wanted to tell him but then who was she to him and will he listen and go away with his selfless style. there were no guarantees. So she did this.

She met him more and more and made him realize a few things about them. They grew in love, so much that they took vows to be together no matter what. Yes she did promise him and he promised her to be together till the world lasts (or at least as per her till she lasts). He still worked but moreover spent time with her because he knew she didn't have much time. For him all that mattered now was her and being with her. And he did that every time he could. Then the day came she had to leave. She asked if he would be fine, if he would not loose it, he would be strong with himself and not bother whether the house stays or not. He promised her he would be fine and that he would come for her. He asked her if she would still wait for him, have trust in what they shared and make their dream a reality. She nodded and she hugged him tight. She left soon after....

He got back slowly to his life and work. For the first time he saw the big cracks the ones he never saw before and he remembered how she never let him know or feel the pain of knowing all he's done so far was about to fall apart. He felt remorse and he felt shattered. Thankfully for him he had this happiness in his heart now that she was there. She wasn't there with him but for him she was like his shadow one that was with him everywhere he went. She was the reason he still smiled and he still wanted to fight. His belief in the house had broken but his belief in the fact he could build it again this time for himself was strong and he vowed to make it happen for him and moreover for her, the reason he still stands....

Thanks to his shadow who leaves him with a reason much bigger to move on and make it happen in a bigger way for himself. All he desired now was her to be by his side not just as a bystander but as a part, a part he loved and a part he still feels a part of....

Like an object on the floor....

2009-09-29T04:43:00.000-07:00

Been away thinking life had become easy though hard but it was more of challenges than let downs. Didn’t know I would be back so soon….

Like an object on the floor

You had your days of glory and fame,

Of people you could trust to carry your name

Suddenly u were stabbed and down everything came,

U had no one around to help but just yourself to blame.

U looked bruised like one who lost his game.

Given up the fight, hanging pointless in aim,

I offered to help to make everything the same

You lapped me up, your savior I became.

I worked hard and alone for many fortunes I had to claim,

Adding fresh colours to the fallen picture well all over again.

Just so that the one final day I eventually put in a frame

People would see my effort, the picturesque destiny I cud tame.

The results were there, rewards none and the excuses lame.

Silent scheming, plans of deceit & efforts to maim,

Letting all my achievements go down in flames

Calling me a showoff.. My head down in shame..

Not because what I did for you went down in vain,

But for being someone u could use & throw away when in gain.

Not recognizing the sacrifice nor the months of pain

Treating me like an object on the floor one that can never complain….

Its been a while since i could hear my own voice again....

2009-03-05T10:03:00.000-08:00

Well to be precise i have quit my job. Salsa is the new reason to smile and keeps me going. Some new hiccups and lots of delusional stuff but then i guess the timing couldn't be better to start all over gain and re-invent what the world calls as "Chirag".

To begin with my silence over all that's happening and my reaction to it as well here is a small passing by thought....

Its been a while since i felt this alone
Alone though with so much happening around
Life of all sorts- sweet & nice, irritating yet distracting
Keeping me engrossed every single day & night

Life that is like two worlds for me
Balanced finely along one another
One incomplete, unfulfilled without the other
One filling the stomach, the other the heart

It always happens that one world goes down
The other somehow trying to stabilize
Pulling both up isnt easy and i sometimes fumble
Get bruised, abandoned, left alone to cry, wake up alone

There is so much more to do and never enough to say
Every moment that passes by i wonder why
I end up changing my house or the paint on my walls
Why i change my pair of shades every time i need to look up????

I wish i can tell someone that i live, i like to laugh
That i too fall down and that i don't need anyone's support
But once i am up i need you not to stare me in the face
Rather look pleased at my return and hug me tight....

Wish you didn't run away at the first sight of my fall. Its just a matter of time i stood up and never looked better. Only if you had waited....

Why so Serious????-Part2

2009-02-16T03:00:00.001-08:00

First of all a big sorry to all as i have just never been around. Even now all i could do is post this new one. Recession has hit me bad but i aint complaining, i m still fighting. Salsa'a a real boon during these time. My classes have swelled up. Life’s been not so bad in fact very good. Every time I have tried to create chaos and wreck havoc further to whatever damage already done, I have repeatedly been blessed with a fresh start, a new launch-pad. Here’s a new take on the poem, “Why so Serious????”. This time it’s me and my life talking to each other….

I have loved you right from when you were born

Giving you a destiny carved with sensitivity and care

You have been my favorite pupil

For only you understood my underlying true ideology

I am harsh for most, soft for a blessed few

People call me names but I don’t care a damn

They chose me each time they changed tracks to go forward

I might have been unfair, sad, harsh maybe even boring

I never decided what becomes of them when they grow up

Who did they meet or whom they fell in love with

Whom did they idolize, who ended up being despicable

All these were their decisions, don’t put it on me!!!!

Why blame me when the sky turns dark

When they miss the bus or fail in class

When they get rejected or when they are left alone

It’s their doing, own it or else fell good sticking it on me

Had they thought of it when they gave it their best shot

Of all that could go wrong, things that may fall apart

They would have been less affected, less pissed at me

But they were optimistic for it’s a virtue of the great

Ever thought what a pessimist but with brains would be like

A clever planned guy- opinionated but shrewd

For he would picture it at its worst before surging ahead

That way he would feel less jittered when it falls apart

They would call him names, talk behind his back

Constantly put him down, never giving him a chance

But he’s much beyond what you think, clever and smart

Not modest but well prepared, for he will always take me head on

He still does feel sad though mostly glad

For he knew things were rosy a bit far too long

Troubles and tensions would just come along

He’s prepared; he will just smile and put them aside.

No wonder he’s my muse, my blue-eyed boy

He will throng to achieve what most don’t bother to

The hunger in him so big that it can drown many like you

Because he knows me well, he will follow through

He will stand up every time he falls down

Start again every time I shun him down

Never say enough is enough because more will come

Keep running from time for that’s his worst enemy

I am talking to him now and I am sure he knows

Son you are a gem, a one in a million

I know I bruised you again but gather yourself like you always do

Wipe your tears, brush away your woes for a new day is waiting

Waiting for you to start your hunt again, time to move on

Look up and smile, “Why so Serious????”

Part 4: Hawaii Chappal....

2008-11-15T01:45:00.000-08:00

After a while i thought i bring the old favorites back. Here's a Hawaii Chappal soap opera fro you guys....

I am the handy bathroom slipper
Thanklessly called the Hawaai Chappal
Wonder how I got that name
When I haven’t been to Hawaai nor Portugal

I come in all colours red, purple and blue
With most brands listing me in their ensemble
From Bata to Lakhani, Relaxo to Liberty
Even Reebok and Coverse all stacked in a bundle

If u ask me I would say I am cheap
Never an exhibitionist, just modestly fashionable
Look at me and u will know my owner’s worth
My oh My is that any more arguable????

You would buy a Jimmy Choo or a Gucci shoe
Even an expensive dress to go along with it
With me you don’t need anything at all
Isnt that proof enough- U Dumbwit!!!!

Try sumthing else while u take a bath
Or on a stroll post dinner to get lighter
Try sittin with heels while relieving urself
& u would know my comfort- U Sinner!!!!

Don’t wear me & u shall be barefooted
Making your feet weary and full of cracks
Leave me unattended at parks or temples
I’l be stolen from right under your tracks

I am the weapon of the Indian woman
Be it against husbands or perverted souls
The must haves of politicians & noblemen
M d symbol of power either intact or wid holes

You might be a spoilt scion or a business tycoon
Having private jets, wives, cars to a house beachside
But if you have a broken, tattered and plastered ME
You might be like a King but a stupid pauper inside

The wonderful individual....

2008-10-22T00:30:00.000-07:00

Well based on my last mail many perceived it as a blooming 9yr relationship that’s still there or just about there. I don’t want to say anything and would leave it to the readers to judge from this poem that’s on her titled what you have heard before- “Honey not this time, maybe some other time!”

Its this wonderful person i know for almost 9 yrs now....

Went to meet someone, found her by chance,
She was busy with her stuff and noisy antics.
I tried hard ignoring still unknowingly glance;
She’s so much like a kid, patienceless and frantic.

Thinking of her was giving me a sweet tension,
Ate dinner somehow but the night went sleepless.
All I thought was of how to get her attention
Rolled in bed the entire night, I kept feeling restless.

I start off with being a friend off course,
Listening to her woes and despair.
Helped her around with things and chores,
All the while wishing we could be a pair!

Got her to eventually accept me as the one,
And take my heart finally close to hers.
Her shortlived attention was not serious but fun,
Only to end it after a few coffees and dinners.

I am heartbroken, clueless with noone around.
I try everywhere for some support, maybe a friend
Regurgitating my loss to many but only to frown,
Each night crying in bed was the usual trend.

One year later when I am free and somewhat healed,
She calls me one early morning prior to sunshine.
I talk to her listening to her woes & some hidden greed;
She promising to be mine for her entire lifetime.

I took her back not realizing what is in store,
I was just a prop, maybe an arm candy some time.
For everyone I was her mere friend, nothing more
All I saw her doing, was enjoying her new lifeline.

I confront her by asking if this is what she meant?
When she said she would be mine now onwards.
“I am but not for the world to know” is what she vents,
Wanting to be free, not labeled with names and words.

I left her to herself for I knew her mind too well.
The fault not being hers, she’s only a kid-too confused
I am the best she’s ever had; to everyone she tells,
But to accept me as a reality she shamelessly refused.

Time passed by and to finally forget it all is what I chose.
When she again came back, this time not single but coupled;
Tells me of a guy who’s awesome & the first one so close.
Love, sex but no apparent future, I stood silent but confused!

She moved on, lost faith in love but not in herself,
I was still perplexed, surprised at her rare selfless stint.
”What goes around comes around” I told to myself,
Still she learnt nothing from this, not a tear not a glint.

She soon got someone new, but again letting it pass by,
Realising they were bad choices, never worth, all the same.
To friends she recalled me as the best she came by,
Still never letting me be anywhere close to her last name.

We are still friends and I let her play her little game,
She still continues to tell me how much I mean to her
I stay aloof, avoiding hurt but respect being the same,
Enjoy playing along, though never over-feeling for her.

The jist of the story is not too complex but simple,
If its your first love, your mind literally goes blank.
Your heart would dive in this ocean of false hopes,
Leaving yourself repeatedly floating just on a plank.

The problem in my case is what happens forever always,
Just when I feel the coast is near & she will finally be mine.
She would scatter my hopes and dissect my mental forays,
Saying cutely as ever-“Honey not this time, maybe some other time!!!!”

Just FYI she also is the very first para of my poem Why so Serious???? Hoping now i wont be seeing some sweet remarks like- Oh so sweet 9 yrs, gosh thats so grt and stuff....

Honey not this time, maybe some other time….

2008-10-19T23:47:00.000-07:00

One phone call one fine day from a soul so dear to me
She says “Shall we run away? Shall we get lost in the wilderness??”
My heart raced at the idea but somewhere I knew her reputation
Still letting it be as it’s always been allowing my mind to let her play with
We plan a date and a time, getting down to finalizing check points
Total distance to be covered, where to meet, how to go forward
Scramble for flight tickets, bus tickets to the next destination
What about hotel she asks, I say leave it to me. Bus is done, check the flight!
I slowly get into the reminiscent goosebumpy mood, like the very first time
I am already there in the moment as if the journey has begun finally….
I search for hotels, find some great discount rates, ask her to start packing
She is nervous but excited says how am I gonna wake up this early
I say don worry I will wake u up like always. She smiles then just nudges
What about the return journey? I say we’l manage but she latches on to it
No we are cutting too fine. It won’t work Chirag!
It’s all your fault, we could have planned better. Don’t u ever say that I don’t try,
I did this time and you didn’t plan it well.
All I said laughingly was that- “Doll I lived my journey in the last three hours that we spoke on phone, looked for buses and hotels, hearing ur excitement and last of all your never-ending last minute confusion. I loved it and I am thankful to you for it. U take care and sleep tight. Muah gudnite….”

It’s been 9 yrs now and it’s the same old story that repeats with her. Now I just laugh over it, getting the cute feeling but only to the point of smiling nothing else. She’s always having her pet line- Honey not this time, maybe some other time….

A poem on this individual comin next....

Part 3: Yours hygienically, the gentle toothbrush

2008-10-10T08:31:00.000-07:00

Taking from where i last left here's another in the interesting object grievance series.-The gentle toothbrush....

Yours hygienically, the gentle toothbrush

I am the ever useful gentle toothbrush
Use me to make your teeth shiny and bright
Every morning & before you go to bed at night
Remember using me else ur teeth wont stay white

I come for all ages big and small
In different colours, shapes and size
Taught down generations to all first time users
How to use me is an art so very concise

Toddlers prefer me as colourful as possible
Shaped in as a fairy or like Scooby Doo
Sometimes I am like Batman or Spiderman
Sometimes even as Mickey or Winnie d Pooh

For grown ups I am more like a chore
Embedded somewhere in their pea little brain
Each morning use me nicely & well
Or have your mouth stink like a drain

The mouths I go in are just seldom nice
Mostly having yellow teeth and an awful stench
Sweets, gum, chicken and u name it, all that junk
Nicely stuck in their forever horrid toothy fence

They would then pay a lot to some weirdo of a guy
To help fill the cavities and scale out the tar
He would use silver and gold but fill up the holes
Even pull out a tooth sometimes going a tad bit too far

He wouldn’t spare u till ur jaw’s open wide
From paste to floss, from wat to eat & wat not to
He would advise a lot, even request u to come often
So dat u care for ur teeth which u never gotto!

But it all goes in vain d moment he’s done talkin
Once we are out of his prison, we only wishfully ignore
Back to wat we loved eating- junk & more junk
The worst for the last-Sweets & chocolates galore

I wish the humans could be a bit more concerned
And use a lot more of what is there in their head
To use me and become more attractive and charming
To treat me as a friend, not as a punishment instead.

P.S. Kindly someone tell the idiot the paste is long finished. Can’t the lazy bum go buy a new one? Also please please buy the new Red one. It’s nice and it matches my colour.

Part 2: Yours Cleanfully, Fluffy Towel....

2008-10-05T23:23:00.000-07:00

Taking from where i left on my Non-Devdasical bent of mind here's another grievance call this time from your Towel. He's a bit more indirect and hence just highlights the pros and cons and leaves it to you for taking notice. Hope you like it....

Yours Cleanfully, Fluffy Towel....

I am the useful Fluffy Towel,
Use me when you are sweaty or wet
I’l wipe your face nice and clean,
Not a trickle of dirt left, I can bet

Women prefer me soft and wooly
In scarlet red, yellows or baby pink.
For men I come in whites and blues
Pink only if gay, I say with a wink!

I am happy if used only by girls,
For they always stay so clean and fresh.
They wrap me till I am tight and close
Don’t ask me more coz I will blush;)

With guys I am like their underwear.
Their bath’s half-done, still I rub them clean
They leave me unattended on the bed,
Almost like a mop! Oh they are so mean.

I usually last a year or two,
Ladies buying me in sets of three.
For guys only once I am ripped apart;
Lest I rest in peace or given for free.

Part 1: Yours Humbly, D Photo Frame!!!!

2008-09-29T03:22:00.000-07:00

I am humbled by all that I have received for my last post- “Why so serious????” many amazing, inspiring, motivating and nonetheless outwardly supporting comments from people who were like just acquaintances so far and now seemingly close enuf to be called frnds. M still not good wid their names but yes to mention a few- Meow(my closest), Aria(My Shakespearean half-cousin), Descrying the shadows(Mr Blogendra Kumar), Jayashree, Dewdropz, Cinderella, Neers, Mini Mouse alias Munnabehen(she’s usually lost), Salty and Ranju(She jus got me ;)). Sorry if I missed anyone but then u someone haven’t been regular wid me. A few I m not sure myself of yet ;)

Hoping I continue to get my dear frndie’s attention and also the love of the passersbys. Here’s to a long pending request from most of you to have me get out of my Devdassich sadness and post something sweet and simple. Hope you like this….

Before I start how many of us are into decorating our surroundings with pictures of near and dear ones, ones we love???? And how many leave those once adorable photo frames to rot in hell not bothering to ever check on their condition once left. Here’s to all u lazybums- a grievance call of your Photo frame….

Yours Humbly,
D Photo frame

I am your once lovely photo frame
The window of my ever-expanding owner’s heart
People who deserved to get in there
Apply for a temporary stay on my photo card

I mostly hold a love of their life
Sometimes a sibling who’s naughty but dear
Maybe a God to whom I pray and respect
Or a wicked Dad who’s framed purely out of fear

I am often neglected, left in a corner
Rotting in dust and spider-poop
The jobless idiots never look upon me
TV and phone calls keeping them in a loop

I promise to still hold what is dear to them
Never loosing track of my responsibility
This memory I hold- May it never go bad
I will keep it safe to the best of my capability

P.S. please atleast now gimme a thoughtful watch and clean me up for Godsake.Your maid does a shoddy job of jus spanking my ass wid the cloth and managing to unsettle a few specks of dust. I have already given access to my friend the Cockroach to start chewing up this ugly snob I m holding for so long. Atleast he’s regular enough to pay me a visit each night after u have slept…. Hehehe

P.S. from chaggoholicz- Kindly read my last blog if not read already. Sorry if I m fishin for compliments but I guess I really loved how simply I came up wid that and the chaos it cud create;) Hehehe….

Why so serious????

2008-09-18T10:13:00.000-07:00

Picking lines from my momentary idol the Joker- Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was....a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. Turns to me and he says "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife,"Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth. "Let’s put a smile on that face!" And..... Why so serious?

Why so serious?

You hate me because I finally took a call
And asked you to get out
What about the times I let you in
Thirty one times in three years
I never forgot the smirk on your face
Nor the proud sense of achievement
Saw myself replaced by mules and blokes
I still laughed then, why cant you now?

Why don’t you laugh?
Why so serious?

I let you close I let you near
Even with my family you could play
All my joys and all my fears
Shared each bit and lived each moment-each day
All done, all accepted, all welcomed with open arms
Now when for something I said enough is enough
You packed your bags and began to leave
You were the one who always would try to make up

Try laughing this time….
Why so serious?

I healed your past, took you to the present
Let you be a kid who never grew up
If in return I wished for some love
Why my past became an issue?
Why did my love become lust?
I gave you dreams of never-ending togetherness
But you could joke of blowing up my fortune
I didn’t find it funny but you called it a joke

Well I cracked one now….
Why so serious?

You found me and I found you
Bingos everywhere, love everywhere
Exploring each other, everything the first time
Until when your dreams stumbled upon
I still remember moulding mine to suit yours
When out of the blue you took me out
For no reason to fly away but sadly to be alone
All by yourself, all alone; I don’t get it, No I don’t

We both could have just laughed
Why so serious?

I danced with you the entire night
Compared you with the Moon the next day
You asked me out and I obliged
Life suddenly looked bright not grey
When one fine day you called me a stranger
And asked me to take some time away
You never came back nor allowed the time to
I tried and tried till I failed

You can maybe laugh on yourself at least….
Why so serious?

For you love was a running train
One you saw and felt like catching straight away
Lunch on board and a little dance
Maybe a movie followed by a night stay
You caught the train and experienced love
When your true self emerged and hungered for more
Not finding your ways you left abrupt
Blaming the menu, finding it not your types

Who had the last laugh then- Definitely not you….
Why so serious????

You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain….

My Better Half....

2008-09-11T04:22:00.000-07:00

I wrote this while i was back in my bed under the lamp reflecting on me & my day so far. It just came naturally to me. Do tell me if you could guess about her from the post as you go read it....

An impression of my self
An outline of my soul
An image of my stature
An incomplete part of my whole

Follows me everywhere
Changing places as I go
She’s darker than most I have seen
But brighter than my core

At times she goes hides herself
Behind me because she’s shy
Sometimes she heightens herself
Watching the bright lights go by

Who is she? I sometimes wonder
Where’s she from? I do not care
Did we meet before is not the question
But instead what brought her here?

I broke the ice, tried talking to her
Asked her out on a date
She’s lost in her world, too busy with herself
Keeps ignoring me off late

Though hesitant still headstrong
She makes up her mind on me
To hang around till I am finally gone
She loves me so much you see

I am in utter bliss of forgotten loneliness
For I will have her around till I am dead
Don’t worry my friend she won’t break my heart
She’s not just any other girl but my shadow instead....

Do tell me if you guessed it right.M sure some got fooled!!!!

A roleplay....

2008-09-06T09:07:00.000-07:00

Starting again from where i left the last time. In fact i must admit these lines were somewhere a part of my last post only that it took the sudden stop in it to a different level. And also u cud blame me for thinking two separate thoughts. So here is the second though though in continuation of the last one....

Surrounded by you
I craved for your love
Sitting besides you
I longed for your love

Died a million times
Only to be born again
Endured heaven sometimes hell
Till I could breathe again

High time I realized
What life has to say?
Times too short
Got too many roles to play....

P.S. I played so many in the last one. Some more coming up soon....

Wish I cud be....

2008-08-31T12:03:00.000-07:00

I have always liked being one with the world.Wanna know how the whole act of roleplay got to me. Maybe this piece below helps....

Wish i cud be....

Wish I could be the earth
Or maybe become the sun
Play for long being the clouds
Or tease the wind for fun

Someday put on a winter
Go change into a spring
Making flowers blossom
The trees and grass swing

When I feel too hot
I perhaps go hide the sun
With black clouds as hair
I make them into a bun

A flash of lightning
And I pour in the rain
Wetting up the earth
But somehow all in vain

Let me quench my thirst
Let me drink the earth
To my heart’s content
For my money’s worth.

Next time i shall dream more and live more....

Happy B'day Pubs....

2008-08-26T00:09:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to a burly Surdie – Mr. Prabhjeet Singh Khalsa sweetly called Pubs!!!!

A soul stirrer, a tear maker
A conscience puller, an emotion waker
A burly bloke in a golden cloak
Out on a mission, to lend each a vision

My long lost brother
Beyond whom I see no further,
My teacher and friend
To me whom God has lent

I love him much, respect him more
He’s too special, I say from the core
Belting a song can make him sore
He’s a part of my family, a family of four. (Sorry guys its 6 now)

He’s a gentle soul
With a heart of gold
Touches all with his words
Is the rarest of the Surds

He can drink, he can smoke
Doubts and Fear, he can choke
Call him cute and he will make you puke
Kick your butt and make you croak

He reads your mind, sees thru your soul
Getting you attached isn’t really his goal
But it always happens that he becomes a part
Something you won’t realize from the start

Like a blessing in disguise, like a mild drizzle
He begins the healing & emotions fizzle
Dousing your anger, wiping your pain
Thank God for him- You are you again….

Happi Budday God Bless! Long live my brother....

And kyunki ye bahut jyada ho gaya(I guess I exaggerated a bit too much ;) ). Here is an Eminem rendering of him:

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's choking, how everybody's joking now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!

Lends life to the lifeless Faith to the hopeless
Supports the helpless Hates the shameless
Saviour to the homeless Idol to the selfless
Backs the relentless Salutes the fearless

He's cutting now d cake and I freaked him out
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!

See i put him to sleep....

The Bottomless Pitcher that never fills but always overflows....

2008-08-21T23:25:00.000-07:00

Well firstly a thanks to all those who visit but never bother to comment ;) And a sweet thanks to Meow who's got my comment window going. Well here's another post which got ready much earlier but somehow there was something that kept me from posting it so soon. Also i didnt want it to overshadow my first post "The Mountain and the River" which is quite close to my heart.

The second one was more like a memoir written for the person to whom the post & the story "A Night under the stars...." belonged. I hope i did justice there.

The last post just had to come before this one as it was beautifully started for continuation by Meow. Hope it fell in place.

The below post is again very close to my heart maybe thats why even after writing it i have added 3 more paras while i was entering it online. There is a lot more to be told....

About The Bottomless Pitcher
One that never fills but still overflows....

A barrel of water for some
A bucketful of tears for the other
A pocketful of love for one
A volcano of fears for the other

How do I describe this pitcher?
One that never fills but still overflows
No matter how high I brim it
It still overflows….

What fills it up I wish I knew?
my belief of God or my love for you
Joy and smiles or Despair and tears
Peace and strength or anger and fears

I feel it’s like a brain
Sensitive but strong and sane
Maybe it’s a heart
Gullible and fragile but not so smart

It acts like a door
Left ajar to let one know more
One who keeps changing with time
Walks in, walks out not caring a nickel or a dime!!!!

A glass door, Plz handle with care
It leads to the pitcher, Thou shalt not dare
Enter at your risk, Leave at your will
It may be locked, you break it until….

Everytime I allow someone
Everytime I let go of one
Everytime one enters and spends the night
Everytime one leaves turning off the light

Everytime one knocks but I never hear
Everytime one intends to enter but doesn’t in fear
Everytime one storms out breaking the door
Everytime one enters, stays; expecting some more

This pitcher again furiously overflowed
Invisible tears poured, poured and poured
Wish I wish it could simply just leak
Chances I go finding a Plumber-Ah so bleak!!!!

The door made of glass,
The door to my heart
My heart- that’s the pitcher
One that never fills but still overflows….

A very cute plumber! Maybe i do get him....

Now that you are gone....

2008-08-21T01:59:00.000-07:00

Dont know how many of you read my first blog, my second to be precise called "The Mountain and the River". Please have a look at the earlier post titled "The Mountain and the River" before going through this. It will make things fall in place. There was this one very sweet comment which came about the same time when i had written a continuation for it. It is from "Meow", wonder where that came from but its placed just before my current continuation. Drop in your comments....

**That's the fate of us mountains
little do we know
The bitter truth of life
& let the river flow
To use us just as a path
& go to the ocean wide
That's how it was destined
& we as mere spectators, abide....**

** By Meow

Now that you are gone

The days are pale
The rains are dry
The nights are dark
The stars too shy

Now that you are gone

My mind is lost
My heart’s in pain
My eyes fill up
But tears refrain

Now that you are gone

I have a body
But seem to have lost my soul
Life’s become pointless
Without you there’s no goal

Now that you are gone

You were my everything
You gone, now I am broke
Can still hum a tune
No guitar to stroke

Now that you are gone

I don’t think I am dead
But my soul sure is
My world’s not over
But my story sure is!

Now that you are gone

I wish somehow you come back
Back to me soon
I am the earth
All i want is my moon....

A Night under the stars....

2008-08-18T01:35:00.000-07:00

Cant say wat i mean here but just so that it doesnt go obscure, i tell you a story of two feathers and a starry starry night....

A few lines from the song though it cant be related much to the story only that most of the story was a starry starry night....

Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer's day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land.

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

Now for the story....

It was a night under the stars
When a story began
Of two feathers that glided across the sky
Of two gypsies who crossed their tracks
Of two lamps who lightened yet enlightened each other
Of two spirits who just seen their own reflections

Both had their storms of the past
The occasional thunders of the present
But blowing it all aside
They embraced the chill of the future

Love made them fly high
Their togetherness at times risked
Rising above the logics and theories
They floated in the realms of fantasy

Their coats touched, caressing their souls
They flew near they flew far
They ignored the sun, got wet in the rain
They knew their today, didn’t bother about tomorrow

One day the time stopped
A wind brought them close
Blending them into one
But soon it was gone with only dust left to see

The feathers fell to the ground
With a silent thud
Anonymity preached
Distances kept

One fine day a whistle blew shaking both the core….
A strand of silk
A speck of love
A fragment of life never understood

A beginning to the end
One that was never thought of
An end to the beginning
One that was never fought off

A mighty wind again blew
Taking the feathers apart
A moment of dawn
A moment of dusk

A day of sun, a night of stars
A fortnight of spring
A month of winter
Time had spanned a whole eternity

For now the feathers had gone
Leaving their game incomplete
Strewn worlds apart
Still somewhere around

Somewhere with feelings
Feelings of being loved
Love that started on a lovely night
A night under the stars….

The Mountain and the River....

2008-08-17T22:33:00.000-07:00

After a very long time; five years to be specific, I came across yet another phase in my life when I was again full upto the brim. This time though I had no energy in me to raise the height of my life’s cauldron of sensitivities. So like the last time this time again it came out as elusively as possible in a flutter of words and rhythms, portions of which I present to you….

I was a hard rocky mountain
Gave permission to a river to flow
Permission to cut into me- valleys and gorges
And a waterfall of emotions.

The river came fluttering on my surface,
Meandered into every nook and corner.
Causing cracks and crevices, at places bumps
But all in all smoothening my edges..

Wherever it went it left a trace;
At times ponds of love,
At times lakes of insecurity
Pools of deception and puddles of hope…

Now there’s greenery all along the way
Though many barren patches too
The water moistened my crust,
Replenishing a spring inside….

I thought I was finally alive
With life; liveliest as one could be
But then the river had it’s own as well
Long before I could realize
It went slowly blending into an ocean
On the other side of the world…..

A living epitaph....

2008-08-06T02:08:00.000-07:00

Somethin that a very cute member of my world wrote for me. Describes me quite well. This is for my blog friends- a well penned description of mine....

I've known Mr. Red Hot Salsero for a long time now...maybe not long enough to know him entirely but definitely long enough to help all of them out there who would like to know what's he like, considering his "about me" is too less and too misleading. To begin with, he is not what he may appear to be. Whether that's good or not is for you to decide. He can be very loving and very caring but too smug and complacent. So much that you'll start craving he stopped helping you out and asked for your help instead. In other words, he's always there for you but seldom he expresses his need for you and when he does it'll totally freak you out (don't ask me why). At some point of time, you may feel you know him completely but before you know he will surprise you with something least expected and you'll be left frowning. (Piece of advice-don't analyse too much. There's no point;)....

There’s a lot that you can learn from him but that depends whether or not you want to learn. I have. His optimism is almost infectious and it'll rub off on you unless you're as stubborn and as pessimist as I am. Friends are very important to him and he loves to hang out with people. Mostly you'll find him in a delightful mood and he will leave no scope to pull your leg. He is the kind who will treat you so sweetly that you could start to feel smothered but again he can also be so insolent that he'll make you feel totally shitty. He is an honest person to the extent of sometimes being too blunt. He is one of the best friends I've ever had. No matter what he may appear to be, he has a heart, a good heart at that, which cares, wants to love and feel loved. He could be just like any other guy you know or maybe a kind of guy you've never known before. But again it's for you to decide because no one can be the same to everyone. What I’ll say is that he is the best and the worst thing that has ever happened to me....

I truly cherish the happening of this person in my life too. Though she's not the worst at all. Someone i have truly loved taking care of as a baby....

Thank you my doll (U'l always be one to me). God Bless....

As for my blog friends i feel a truly deserving post (Forgot to tell u about by not being modest ;)) to start of my blog with. Keep coming for more. Though bear wid my delays....

Take care....